Rethinking Prayer #2 : The Pressure of Performance

In our last blog post, we talked about how prayer can become legalistic when we begin to think that we need to pray hard enough for God to answer us, bless us, and be willing to truly listen. Now, continuing on a similar topic, let’s look at a current issue we see in many modern churches—mainly those influenced by charismaticism: the pressure to perform in prayer.

If in the past the pressure was to pray beautiful prayers using lofty words and polished voices—something we’ve since judged as “religious”—the new pressure is basically the opposite. Today, for a church to be considered a praying church, it often needs prayer meetings marked by intensity, authenticity, spontaneity, and sometimes even irrationality (including so-called “prayer in tongues”).

But it seems to me that simple, sincere, short prayers—those offered in private throughout the day, as families gather, in small groups, or even during a church service—almost don’t count as a true prayer life anymore. The ordinary mom who prays while doing household chores, the dad who prays silently while working to provide for his family, the quiet morning or evening prayer—these are often seen as too basic, too ordinary.

There’s also the growing idea of “prayer warriors”—a kind of spiritual elite deeply devoted to intercessory prayer, who are thought to fight spiritual battles in the heavenly realms. Prayer, in this framework, becomes a battle we must win through effort, rather than communion with a gracious Father. And only those with the time and energy to sustain long hours in prayer are seen as truly spiritual.

But a healthier, more biblical view is that every Christian is invited to draw near to God in prayer through Christ—not because of their passion or performance, but because of their access through the gospel. When Jesus taught His disciples to pray (Matthew 6), He didn’t model chaotic intensity, but simple, sincere trust in the Father’s love and provision.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with longer or more expressive forms of prayer. But we must be careful not to elevate man-made expectations to the level of divine standards and then measure others—or ourselves—by them. The Pharisees constantly fell into this trap: fasting and praying beyond what was required and then believing they were more holy than others because they followed rules of their own making.

May prayer never become a burden or a performance but a sweet moment of resting on the chest of our good Father, who delights in our nearness, however small or imperfect our words may be.

Nino Marques