Christin Racicot - Baptism Testimony

My name is Christin Charles Racicot. I am forty years old and born and raised in Calgary, Alberta. My parents are Peter and Renita, and my younger sister is Danielle. They are all very accomplished. My parents are still happily married, retired, and living in Calgary. We are all very close, supportive, and loving.

I give everlasting thanks to my mom for building up my faith in Christ by bringing me to church every Sunday and Sunday School, until the age of twelve, when I was confirmed into the Lutheran Church at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church here in Calgary, where she still attends. I still remember my first day of Sunday School when I was about five. The teacher asked us, “Where is God?” Of course, nobody knew. He said, “God is everywhere,” and immediately it struck me and resonated deep in my core.

After my confirmation, my mom respectfully left the choice to continue going to church in my hands. Unfortunately, church started to feel like a chore, and Bible stories felt symbolic at best. My interests leaned toward eastern mysticism, lucid dreaming, and meditation. Before listening to and learning from my friends at Knox Reformed Baptist Church, I had no logic to confront the flaws of pluralism and universalism. Living in the moment offered instant gratification; the ability to forget the “old you” without taking responsibility or repenting of your sins. Universalism removed judgment; everyone would get there eventually, so there was no urgency.

As a teenager, sin enveloped me easily. I was angry and bitter, constantly criticizing myself in my head. I lusted, fought, drank, smoked, and used drugs for decades. I was sexually scarred and let women choose me instead of stepping up for myself. That makes you a weak man, and without effort, you remain single. But it wasn’t forever. I was given the opportunity to forgive, forget, and mature. The fear of God began to appear, forcing me to re-evaluate where my trust really lay, and exposing my self-loathing and religious blasphemy for what they were.

Over a decade ago, I began having grand mal seizures—at first, few and far between. The earliest ones were the worst and brought me close to death. As the years went on, the seizures became less intense but more frequent, eventually happening every two days. I was diagnosed with epilepsy, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. I was quickly barred from working and driving, and I rarely left the house alone. Like a child, I quickly spent most of my credit. I eventually lost my girlfriend at the time, and I never blamed her. I lost all sense of control, both mentally and physically. I felt like a puppet on a string for at least three years before I slowly began to feel like I was moving on my own again.

Doctors experimented with different medications and pushed for brain surgery, but I was stubborn. When I had seizures, I would pass out without warning and sometimes wake up with broken bones or stitches. I didn’t feel the pain because I wasn’t conscious. I didn’t take it seriously until I realized how much it was hurting the people around me. After hundreds of seizures, my right frontal lobe was damaged, and I lost both long-term and short-term memory. Only after they found a combination of medications that controlled the seizures did I finally agree to the surgery.

At the time, God was more like an energy in the universe to me, not a personal being, something to tap into. I didn’t really understand the Holy Spirit. But I would acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and Saviour: the one who held my hand and pulled me out of the resentment I had clung to for so long.

Why did I change my mind about Jesus? Because of the people I met along the way. They inspired me and taught me new ways of living. They showed unwavering faith, and what looked like miracles seemed to happen around them. I could write a book about these people, but I’ll just say this: they had taken life-changing falls and were only restored by the hand of Jesus and the love of God, which I had prayed for every day for a decade. Through them, I saw the reality of the Spirit of God. They consistently encouraged me to “thank God” and “trust in Jesus.”

Eventually, I decided to undergo brain surgery to remove a benign tumour from my frontal lobe. After consulting seven neurologists, it was still inconclusive whether the surgery actually made any difference. I remain on the same medications I was on before. So who saved my life? Without a doubt, it was Jesus.

Years later, I slowly grew out of psychosis and into a quiet, normal life. I have a large gap in my resume, so I decided to go back to school to show future employers that I am capable, stable, and hardworking. I moved out of a party house and closer to my school. It was incredibly nerve-wracking to be out in the world again with a full schedule and constant uncertainty. But it was worth it. I achieved things I hadn’t in a long time. I met new people, stayed disciplined, completed group projects and presentations, and even served as a project manager on several of them. I’m grateful for those challenges.

For the past couple of years, however, I’ve been lonely and discouraged. I considered therapy, but avoided it because most of the doctors I knew were atheists. It eventually dawned on me that my psychiatrist wasn’t there to comfort me, but simply to monitor whether I was stable. One day, it just hit me: I needed a church. The thought lingered for some time before I acted on it.

Then I met a new friend in the alley where I lived—Steven Larson. We kept running into each other while I was outside smoking and he was walking his dogs. He invited me to church several times. I overanalyzed it, as I do with many things. I tried to get a sense of the church from a distance. I could tell it was different from what I had known—more intense—and maybe that intimidated me. But he asked me again on just the right day, and I said yes. We went to church, and Pastor Nino’s sermon on lukewarm Christians shocked me to my core. I knew I wasn’t doing my part. I’m incredibly grateful that I returned and became a member of Knox Reformed Baptist Church. I have met some of the most wonderful people and have learned so much about Christianity through sermons, discussions, reading, prayer, and even singing. My faith is being restructured, and my resolve is growing stronger.

I have decided to be baptized because, unlike when I was an infant, this time I am choosing it of my own will. I recognize that Christ has chosen me, and I desire to follow Him. I want to publicly seal my commitment to God and His church, to celebrate my faith, and to live for His glory.

Amen.

Sincerely,

Christin Racicot