Rethinking Prayer #1: The Problem With Our Prayer Guilt

If you've been a Christian for any length of time, you know how central prayer is to the Christian life. Christians may disagree on many things, but we all agree that prayer and Bible reading are essential. And yet, despite its centrality, many believers quietly confess that their prayer life feels weak—or even like a failure.

There's a low-grade guilt that often surrounds prayer. Instead of approaching it with joy and freedom, many feel shame, convinced that their prayers are never "enough" and that God is perpetually disappointed with them. While it may sound humble to admit we could pray more, I suspect that often, this is actually legalism in disguise.

One key area where the charismatic/pentecostal/revivalist movement has influenced the wider church is in its view of prayer. While not everything from those streams is bad, there are important flaws we must confront. The first is this: the idea that we earn God's nearness through spiritual performance. But God is not near because we pray enough—He is near because of our union with Christ. If you are in Christ, the Spirit dwells in you, the Father has already blessed you with every spiritual blessing, and you don't need to summon His presence. You need to rest in it by faith.

Another issue is the revivalism mindset: that if we just "press in" enough—long enough, hard enough—God will then send revival. This creates pressure and guilt, leading people to believe their lack of effort is what's holding God back. But this misunderstands prayer. God is not a reluctant giver. The same God who sought us in salvation continues to pursue us in sanctification. He walks among His churches, even the struggling ones, as we see in Revelation.

Finally, these ideas subtly portray God as passive—waiting to be convinced—rather than as a Father who already delights to hear and bless His children.

A healthy prayer life begins not with performance, but with the grace of the gospel. We pray not to earn God's love, but because we already have it. True repentance isn't just over a weak prayer life, but over our unbelief in the generous love of the Father who is always ready to meet us.

Nino Marques