From Isolation to Community: Cultivating Meaningful Church Fellowship

I believe every Christian knows either from Scripture or intuitively that the church is supposed to be a place of true and deep connection and belonging. And I also think that every Christian, deep down, longs for this type of community. Unfortunately, that's not what many of us experience when participating in church. So, I want to offer a few points of reflection as we at Knox seek to establish a local church where people find meaningful connections.

1. Our Subjective Experiences vs Objective Realities.

First, we must acknowledge that feelings of loneliness and disconnection are subjective in many ways. And although there is a lousy connotation sometimes, subjectivity is not a bad thing per se. We all experience things in ways that are very particular and are shaped by the current state of our "inner universe." 

That's why people are prone to find affinity with people who both like or dislike things in common. In many ways, surrounding ourselves with people with the same perspectives can solidify our opinions about specific events or subjects.

So, in any church, you will have people who feel deeply connected, those who feel utterly disconnected and everything in between. It's important for us to acknowledge the subjective aspect of this issue so we will be able to not disregard the other person's experience as objectively invalid.

Look at what Apostle Paul tells the church in Thessalonica:

"And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all." - 1 Thessalonians 5:14

There is a calling to patience and for the "strong" to help the weak and encourage the fainthearted. People don't change overnight, and feelings of loneliness and disconnection can have multiple reasons. But the local church should persevere - as a true expression of the family of God - in mutual encouragement and edification. This call is not only for pastors and will not be solved with church programs but with people intentionally engaging each other's weaknesses to help and encourage.

2. We Live in a Very Individualistic Culture.

The second thing we need to acknowledge is that we live in a hyper-individualistic culture. And many will be resistant to admit they are individualistic - because it sounds bad - but the reality is that we are all immersed in this culture, and we behave and structure our lives in ways that hinder meaningful connection.

Individualism is not only about specific acts or thoughts, but it's a way of living. We all feel busy, overwhelmed, and disconnected; we desperately need (and want) meaningful relationships, but we may feel too busy or without the energy to take the time to form real relationships with others in the church. 

So, in the same way, what it takes to have a healthy body is not engaging in crazy diets but going through a process of "food reeducation." We need our church bodies, person by person, to start working on creating new partners of life that make it possible for a real Christian community to exist.

And I know this is super challenging. It takes a lot of intentional effort and desire. But it's the only way to go if we want a long-lasting effect.

3. Community and Worship are deeply connected.

The more a church experiences deep connection, the more meaningful and profound the experience of worship will be. When we gather as a church to worship our triune God, the idea is not to occupy the same physical space as we do our private devotion to the Lord. The idea of the church gathering and its liturgy is to have the body of believers worshipping God together in this beautiful expression of unity in the Spirit.

We sing together, we "amen" the same prayers, we read and heed to the Word together, we break bread together, and all of this is an expression of our unity in the Lord. Worship is diminished when there is this disconnect between what we are trying to represent and what is true about our lives. And we all feel this disconnect. And that's why it's usually easier - mentally and emotionally - to be part of a church that is more like a concert or event because it's built to be appreciated in a more individualistic manner.

For this reason, it's essential for us to go out of our way and put effort into creating meaningful relationships because it will "elevate" our worship and consequently bring to God the glory He deserves. Also, "elevated worship" creates a higher potential to transform us.

"Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread." - 1 Corinthians 10:17

4. Meaningful Relationships have a Price.

Everything that is worth in this life asks for sacrifice. And if you want to be in a deep community with your local church, it will not come naturally and comfortably.

Look at this bible verse that offers us some wisdom in this regard:

 Proverbs 18:1 - "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."

Isolation is the right path if you are seeking your own desires. Community is, on the other hand, the sacrifice of our personal desires. For this reason, many will desire meaningful relationships, but they don't want to pay the price. And, my friend, as they say in bodybuilding, "no pain, no gain."

It connects with point #2: we must face the challenge and be diligent and disciplined if we want to break with the patterns that move us away from meaningful church fellowship.

5. Community for the Glory of God.

And lastly, we need to remember that living for the glory of God is not an ethereal and subjective concept. There is a way of living that pleases and honours God, and there are ways that do not do that. We need to resist the temptation of being religious people who honour God with our lips but are not ready to do what it really takes to honour him with our hands.

Jesus once said:

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." - John 13:35

If we want to show the world we are disciples of Christ, it will take more than words. We will have to truly love each other. And the love of Christ happens in the context of covenant fellowship with the church.

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The goal here is not to provide an exhaustive treatment of the subject but to offer these five points as a starting place. From there, we will continue to build, always seeking to improve for the glory of our King.