The Weak Family: Feminism's Assault on Biblical Marriage (Series: The Embrace of Exile | Part 4)

In my experience, most evangelical churches are—at least in theory—"for the family" and marriage. There are countless books, conferences, pre-marital and couples counselling, sermon series, and resources aimed at helping couples thrive and families grow strong. Yet despite this heavy investment, Christians often struggle in these areas as much as—or sometimes more than—people from other religions or no religion at all.

Divorce rates remain high, with many Christians in their second or third marriages. Abortions occur even among married Christian couples. Domestic violence is not uncommon. Sexual dissatisfaction plagues many homes. And far too many children of Christian parents abandon the faith later in life, especially during college or university. Despite all the effort, Christian families are frequently weak—burdened by the same kinds and degrees of problems as families anywhere else.

Some Christians have resigned themselves to this reality. Pastors and leaders often say "marriage is hard" and "families are messy," treating Christianity as mere damage control or a crutch rather than a true solution. But this is not how it should be. Yes, our ultimate hope is in the future restoration when Jesus returns and deals fully with sin and its effects. Yet the Holy Spirit is present with us today, making real sanctification possible—not just for individuals, but for collective realities like marriage and family. Christian marriages and families are meant to show progressive holiness. So where is the disconnect?

The foundational problem weakening Christian families today is not a lack of general faith in Jesus. It is not that people are unsaved, unaccustomed to spiritual disciplines (Bible reading, prayer, church fellowship), or neglecting family worship (which many are recovering to great benefit). The deeper issue is failing to rightly follow God's good design for marriage. Christian marriage is more than heterosexual marriage—though of course not less. It is a covenant between a man and woman, established by and before God, following His ordained roles: men as head of their wives, wives as submissive helpers in all things.

Bringing feminism into the conversation, we must reaffirm: feminism did not create marital disorder—sin did. But feminist ideology formalized and catechized modern societies to reject biblical design. Proof lies in how expressions like "head of the wife" or "submissive helper" make many cringe today. Yet these are God's revealed words, not human inventions. You cannot have a thriving Christian marriage without operating in these categories. God blesses what He creates and establishes; asking Him to bless an alternative design is foolishness. Strong families cannot coexist with feminist ideology.

Feminism promotes absolute equality that turns marriage into a mere partnership—a negotiation between equals—often resulting in women ruling the home and husbands becoming bystanders. When we speak of family destruction, some imagine only unhappiness or distress. But you can have a "happy" yet dysfunctional, broken marriage. Biblically, marriage's goal is not happiness; it is God's glory through procreation and godly child-training, mirroring Christ and the church (husband as Christ, wife as church), and mutual sanctification. Many feel "fine" in rebellion—men comfortable avoiding headship, women satisfied leading—but that sense of happiness is not success, strength, or flourishing. One effect of sin is that we often feel pretty good while amusing ourselves to death in it.

True Christians must look beyond feelings and objectively evaluate their marriages and families against Scripture—not the world. Feminism indoctrinates a worldview that excuses rebellion and makes people feel justified in it. Then the church fills with the world's problems, and we wonder why. The answer is plain: sow rebellion against God, and you reap curse, destruction, and death.

God's blessings are not random "magic" independent of how we live. In Scripture, blessings and curses are tied to obedience and disobedience because reality is wired that way. Obey and align with God's design, and you position yourself for blessedness. Live your own way, and you place yourself under curse. God cannot bless a cursed path or curse a blessed one—He cannot contradict Himself.

Marriage does not have to be "hard" in the destructive sense. There is good hard—the pain of growth, like gym exercise. There is bad hard—the agony of a dying family, like cancer. Many marriages suffer not the good pains of sanctification but the bad pains of disease. The only path forward is to kill what causes it. In many North American households today, the vector of that disease is feminism. We must kill it, remove it from our midst, and leave not even an inch of this disgraceful ideology—otherwise it will continue to disturb, multiply, and bring pain and death.

May God give us understanding, courage, and strength to remove this evil from our midst.

Nino Marques